World’s Religious Leaders Meet at Vatican Food Summit
By Vatican correspondent, Myrna Hackman
Hosted by the Pope, religious leaders from around the world met last week at the Vatican.
Surrounded by the treasures of the Catholic Church’s wealth, acquired by doing God’s work throughout the world for centuries, the group discussed who should be blamed for the crises threatening civilization.
Because the world’s population is on the brink of starvation and disease, and as more drought further threatens the food supply, religious leaders are finding that people have less money to give to their churches, causing financial losses among most of the world’s denominations.
Having concluded that, contrary to popular myths, these global crises are not caused by overpopulation, lack of basic healthcare, illiterate and uneducated populations, climate change, degradation of the environment and the depletion of the Earth’s resources, it is clear that the whole mess is the fault of atheists, homosexuals, liberals, artists and people who wear glasses.
Most discussions at the summit took place while participants dined every evening in regal style. During the daytime, with lavish buffets provided 24-7, the leaders separated into break out groups to discuss how their own personal living conditions are seriously deteriorating. On the final afternoon, they released the official report of the summit.
The one primary solution they arrived at was that religions leaders and clerics should provide incentives for poor countries to produce more rice. Those incentives would be things like praying and bestowing God’s blessings on those countries that produce well. Also, having the World Bank, the United Nations and rich developed countries withhold funding for healthcare and education to underdevoped countries countries that don’t grow enough of their own food. This progressive concept is credited to world leader George W. Bush after his successful approach to American education.
Secondary solutions were to rid the world of homosexuals and to follow God’s teachings by not allowing young girls to be educated or make any choices about the future of their own lives.
Following the summit, all participants were flown home on private jets provided by the Vatican.
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